giving it up for veronica e.
Chapter 1
"Don't ask me what happened. She's always been a model student," David said, handing me the girl's file and a cheaply bound copy of a school yearbook. He gave me a half-hearted shrug. "I'm not saying that she hasn't been a bit strong willed at times. Not a complete angel, but a really decent, intelligent girl. I guess Al's death affected her more deeply than we thought."
I turned to the page in the yearbook that David had marked with a yellow paper slip. Running my fingers along the column of names, I searched for her.
Veronica Espinoza. I looked at the accompanying picture. Long, dark hair. Full lips parted in a wide smile. Large, almond shaped eyes that revealed more than a degree of that independence David had hinted at. And really good skin. Not the most common asset for a fourteen-year-old girl. Usually the steady teen diet of soft drinks and fast food pizza rewarded most girls, and boys for that matter, with skin as pockmarked as the moon's surface. It was apparent some pretty good genetics were at work in this kid.
"What are they feeding kids these days? I hate to admit it, but I think Annabel might be right about all the hormones we're ingesting in meat. She looks old enough to be graduating from high school for Christ's sake."
David smiled. "I knew you would be indoctrinated sooner or later. Annabel still feeding you that rabbit food nightly?"
I flipped him the finger while placing the yearbook face up on my desk. Crossing my arms, I leaned back in my chair. Veronica Espinoza continued to smile up at me. "So what's the deal with her? She looks normal enough."
"She completely lost it in her art class on the last day of term. Went postal, apparently. Took an exacto knife to her wrists. Right in front of the whole fucking class, might I add." David looked down at the floor and shook his head, giving me a bird's eye view of his scalp, which was glaringly visible through the carefully coiffed, few remaining strands of hair at the top of his head.
I gave a low whistle. "That must've been a mess for you to deal with. Do you think she meant to do some real damage to herself?"
"There were only superficial wounds to the insides of her arms. I think if she were really serious about joining the dearly departed, she would've aimed lower. She still did a good fucking job of bleeding all over though. Took the janitorial staff over an hour to clean up the mess."
Leave it to David. The only middle school principal in the entire city who would speak about a student's attempted suicide as if it were of no more significance than an irritating boil on his hairy ass. He's a flesh and blood example as to why Annabel and I will probably choose home schooling for any children we might have in the future.
"So how do you know this incident has anything to do with Alex's death? A girl who looks like that must have a string of little hip-hop loving Romeos after her. Couldn't it be a case of first love gone bad? I mean, what about her parents? Any trouble at home?"
David shakes his head. "I agree that it seems a bit extreme. But I think she really admired Al. And he was a good-looking guy. There's no doubt about that. In fact, we had a harem of female students confessing their love for him to all the counsellors that visited in the days after his accident. I know you only met him that one time, James, but I'll tell you, Al was a top quality bloke." David's voice wavered for a moment and he stopped, his eyes glittering with the beginning of tears, which he hastily and self-consciously wiped a meaty hand at. "Jesus, he had everything going for him. A first baby on the way, a successful career, a beautiful, loving wife. I just can't understand what made him do it...None of us can."
Having never seen David show any emotional depth beyond drunken exuberance whenever the English football team won a World Cup match, I didn't think this would be the best time to question whether or not Alex might've been leading a double life of sorts. You hear about it all the time. Perfect neighbour, model parent, the best looking, classiest guy to grace the earth with his presence since Cary Grant and then, suddenly, a funny smell is reported to be coming from his penthouse apartment and it turns out that this same, wonderful guy has been pulling a Jeffrey Dahmer and his deep freeze is filled with the corpses of young boys. Personally, I was of the belief that Alex had probably been harbouring some unsavoury secret addiction or was a closet pedophile or something. And I couldn't help but begin to wonder where this gorgeous, young female student fit into the picture. I hated to admit it, as it seemed a little morbid and insensitive, but I was becoming quite intrigued.
"I think I need a little something to go on with this girl. She admired Alex. Well, from what you're saying, so did all of the student population and a good chunk of the staff here. What makes you think she was any different?"
David reached got up from his chair and walked over to his filing cabinet. Opening up the top drawer, he reached in and handed me a student planner. I looked at the front of the book with its photograph of Alexander Lincoln Memorial Highschool splashed across the front of it and the years 2003-4 embossed in glittering gold letters overtop. I opened the cover. The first page was covered with childish, looping handwriting in a myriad of colours.
David cleared his throat loudly. "Gel pens," he said.
I looked up at him quizzically.
"The younger students love them. You know, bright colours..." he trailed off, somewhat uncomfortably, then walked over to the window, and looked out over the neatly manicured lawns of the empty school grounds, squinting his tired eyes against the bright April sunshine.
I looked back at the planner. All the writing was a variation on the same theme:
Veronica E loves Alex Shaw Alex and Veronica 4ever Mrs. Veronica Espinoza Shaw Alex is the bomb
"I agree that she definitely had the puppy love thing going on," I said, closing the planner and putting it down on the desk. "But it still seems a bit extreme to me that a bright, popular girl with no history of instability is going to act as irrationally as she did over the death of her favourite teacher. I'll agree that it's traumatic experience, but it's not a parental or sibling suicide. And she's got a stable, supportive family from what you've told me." I shook my head. "I guess I'll have to see what Ms. Espinoza has to say about the whole thing."
David turned to me and folded his hands across his ample waist. "Well, I hope you can help her express her grief, James. Like I said, she's a good kid. She'll be expecting you the first Friday after the Easter break finishes."
I picked up the yearbook one last time and looked at Veronica Espinoza. Her photograph smiled back at me expectantly. In hindsight, I can be certain of only one thing. If I were able to turn back the hands of time, I'd have walked away from David's office that day and never looked back.